


How To Grow Better

by LeviLee



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Cute Ending, M/M, Other, Short One Shot, Weird Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:40:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29721513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeviLee/pseuds/LeviLee
Summary: A one shot that I wrote a while ago, that I originally put on a fan site and on tumblr. Since I had been thinking of moving some of my tumblr stories over I thought, why not start with this one.Inspired by the Headcanon that Crowley doesn't really kill his plants, but relocates them discreetly.It started out as a joke, and turned into feels.This is also the latest updated once, because of a couple of odd phrasings.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Houseplants (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	How To Grow Better

Day One

My new home. It's nice in here: well lit for the indoors, top notch soil. A whole room of friends. I wasn't sure what to expect when I was delivered to the door, or what kind of caretaker this tall being in black would be. In this room now, I think it will be quite nice. Though, the other plants are very quiet. They haven't greeted or welcomed me. They seem to keep to themselves a lot and focus an awful lot on growing. I guess they are all just hard working. I better keep to it myself, to fit in. 

Day Three  
I'm starting to get used to the quiet. It's nice enough. The sun is nice. The caretaker seems nice, though the other plants seem to get very nervous when he is around. I can feel the subtle quake of their leaves and the fear in their roots. I have begun to grow weary of it... but I still do not know why. The caretaker waters and mists us, checks our leaves very closely with gleaming, unnatural eyes. He looks over mine and simply gives a nod before moving on. He checks the plant next to me before murmuring "Better. Much better." As soon as he leaves the room, I can hear the smaller plant beside me heave a sigh. Their leaves are an elongated heart shape; the rich green carrying a delicate sheen. The veins on each heart-shaped extension stand out like ivory against that beautiful emerald. I could feel my chlorophyll flush as they shook their leaves a little at me. It was the most attention any other plant had paid me before. It was fleeting, but I can't help but hope for it again. 

Day Four  
I worked up the courage today to strike a conversation with the other plant. Well, conversation as far as plants can converse. I adore them already, though I barely know them. And I think, maybe they like me too. They seem to enjoy my company. Apparently, the other plants don't try to get to know each other well, because they never know when it will be the end. Kind of dark and dramatic, if you ask me...

Day Seven  
Oh.   
I know now why the plants are this way. Why they seem to hold off collecting oxygen in alarm when the caretaker is around. Why Emerald never let me know about what really goes on. It is horrifying. This is my first time, seeing the caretaker angry, but the other plants know it well. Every plant burst into shaking as one of their own near the window nearly vibrated out of their pot. They had a wilted leaf. And that was... unacceptable. He said it at least twice. Heat radiates from the caretaker when he is mad, and it is not like that of the sun. It's too much heat to bear, and I found myself shaking with the bunch. The plant was taken, the caretaker bidding us to say goodbye in a hiss that I had never heard from a being before. The sounds after are the worst; like shredding and snapping, and destruction of every bit of the doomed flora. Emerald seems to be of a paler hue, their stem shuddering. I realize now... this is really hell. 

Day Eight  
Emerald attempts to go back to avoiding me, but I pester them enough that they reconsider. How can you put the worm back in the dirt once it had been dug up? We are perfect for each other and even if we fear separation, we won't push away. I cannot imagine a day without them at my side, growing together and sharing the air between us. I start to grow much more, more than Emerald. They have a lot of growing to do. I hope the caretaker will allow them to do so. 

Day Eleven  
Another one bites the dust. Yellowing leaves this time. The plant in question tried so hard, maybe too hard, to will their color back. The caretaker saw it. The caretaker was furious. He snarled at us, all of us shaking, and he heaved the plant out without another word. I keep growing steadily, at least four inches to my stem. My leaves lengthen double that, enough to start to hang over Emerald like a protective frond. 

Day Twelve  
A leaf spot. 

It is very small and I didn't notice it until I saw how Emerald drooped in shame. Emerald has a leaf spot growing in that beautiful array of green and ivory, and I feel myself sink a little into my soil. If the caretaker sees... I try my best to comfort them. I even let my leaves drape over them to try to help hide it. I only hope he won't notice. For once, maybe he will not look close enough. He seems distracted recently. So maybe there was hope that he would not see, and Emerald would pull themselves back together. 

Day Twelve-- Four hours later  
He did see it. He misted as usual and I held my leaf over Emerald. But those scrutinizing, critical eyes... the caretaker is good at spotting flaws. He easily looked around my weak attempt at hiding my love and saw the spot. I could do nothing. I have neither legs nor hands. He plucked Emerald up, chastising angrily about how he felt about leaf spots. His tone softened, but not in a sweet way. No, the caretaker's soft voice chills right through your cells. He kills hope. He makes you feel small, smaller than Emerald was. The caretaker said how disappointed he was and then... for us to say goodbye. The plants around me said nothing. I said goodbye, not wanting ever to say goodbye. The caretaker's final shout makes my roots shrink still.

"GROW BETTER!!!!"

The noises every time a plant leaves us haunt me tonight. Because now Emerald is gone with them. And I am without. 

Day ...   
I don't know what day it is. I don't really care anymore. The caretaker has been gone for a while. Left us with enough good soil and water to strive a few days but... I no longer want the nutrients from the bed my roots nestle in. I no longer care for water, for sunlight. My Emerald is all I crave. And the caretaker has taken them away. I can feel my leaves sagging more and more, my leaves started to shrivel in on themselves. All I want is to be with them again. I know that I will be with them again soon. 

The Day of my Fate  
The caretaker came back. It didn't take him long to see me in my state and to go off on his tirade to the others. They shook; I only drooped more. Defeated. He took me away, to the side room, yelling back to the other plants "SAY GOODBYE!" I expected to see a big machine for grinding us into mulch... but he only walked towards a strange box, struck a button. The horrible noises came from it... but not from me. The caretaker let it run as he de-potted me and placed me in a different pot in the room. He had a few of them around. He took my old pot back, finishing his lesson with words about how this will happen to any of them that dares show another blemish. I am... confused. I am in a car, in a passenger seat covered with a tarp. The caretaker keeps mumbling about how he'll end me right here if I get even a speck of dirt on the interior. Everything is going so fast. I'm going fast, but where was I going so fast to?

My Fate  
I am happy again. So happy and so thankful to the caretaker. He acts mean, scares us into being beautiful and strong, but it's a farce. At least, for me it was. And for Emerald. I don't see the other plants around here in this open space, this sea of endless green and paths and growth. As soon as he carried me out and to this spot, and as soon as I saw my Emerald, my leaves perked up. He dug a spot beside them and plopped me in, putting the dirt back and securing me in. Emerald practically gleamed. They're still gleaming. The caretaker leaned over us and we nearly shook out of our leaves at first... but he whispered in his soft voice and it wasn't as chilly as usual. 

"You better grow better... together."

I could not understand the kindness until someone approached, cheerful and opposite of the caretaker. They asked what he was doing. He replied, 

"Nothing, really. Come on, angel."

The way the caretaker spoke with them and listened to them was familiar. And warm. And I understand now why the caretaker did this for me, and Emerald. 

Because he has an Emerald of his own. 

\---🌱---


End file.
